some of you know, some of you never will.

i love being from the midwest and i love where i came from. not only do i have pride in that, i feel i have a peculiar outlook on things compared to a lot of people around these parts. not better than, just different than. i grew up with only one thing in mind and i feel i accomplished that goal in so many ways. i worked hard and i lived that life to the fullest. maybe more so than i should have? its hard to say really. i just know that i worked harder for those days than i have anything else in life. its difficult to say good bye to the things you love. we all know that, but one of the most important ideas ive come to realize from what i as taught as a youngster is that old adage. when one door closes, another one opens. i took to that new light and have been okay with saying good bye over the last few years, but it still resonates deep in my bones, it still can keep me awake at nite. waking up this morning and getting that call, "watch todd congellieres part from risk it today." from my close friend, billy, really threw my re-balanced life back about 20 years. it kicked me back to those days, before having a job was necessary, before worrying about taxes, before responsibilities, before everything that plagues us now, as older human beings. it drug me down every set of stairs i jumped down, every street i pushed for miles to get there, it slid me across every two sided curb and knee high ledge i grinded, and it took me back to a life where i did what i wanted because i wanted to. i dont get caught up in a lot of whats the coolest shit, i live a pretty simple and easy life, and i keep to myself mostly. truth is, i love it, theres no two ways about it. there are a few details i would/will change eventually, when the time is right, but for right now, if i could, i would. if i could, i wouldnt be here. if i could, id be on the deck next to you. if i could, id be the first one in the deep end with a full bucket. if i could, id be the first to roll in. and if i could, id be the first one to take that slam on the already broken drain cover.

i find a general discomfort in using that turning point that came up 4 years ago as any sort of excuse, but when something gnarly happens and it scrambles everything youve ever known and dreamed of, you have no choice but to claw and adapt to the new found flailings of life. im doing my best, once again.

my buddy david franklin wrote this article in really very few words. like this morning and watching risk it, this was just something else that just struck a chord so deep inside my core. so deep because it reminded me of a life i used to live. one i had to live. click HERE

"I knew that I could get a job here and I didn’t care what it was, as long as I could skate. And I did. Seven days a week, before work, after work, sometimes all day long on my days off. I didn’t skate with the dream of becoming a professional – I skated just for the love of being on a board. The thrill of going too fast down Bush Street, the feeling of grinding the now-defunct brown marble ledges on California, and the clickety-clack of carving over benches on the brick “China banks” along the footbridge to the Chinese Cultural Center over Kearny. The whole city was there to explore. One could find a spot to session for hours, or until being chased out by security or ticketed, and sometimes, arrested by SFPD. Back then, skateboarding was a crime."

so true in every way... thanks dave.

R.I.P. 1986, 1987, 1988, 1989, 1990, 1991, 1992, 1993, 1994, 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, and R.I.P. 2007. you will be forever missed.


GoneWithTheSunset said...

I don't even know what to say.

FSK said...

my old roomie hated midwesteners, she also hated meeting her neighbors, i hated that about her.



More popular than Jesus said...


Sol said...

Words can't begin to describe it.
How else, to release those inner tensions and emotions, is beyond me?
It is so hard, impossible, to let go of it. It is forever in there!...

This year my time seems to have come and the real pain has only just begun; my battle to skate is with what is or seems to be called Cataplexy; total voluntary-muscle-control paralysis triggered from emotions (such as landing a trick). It's like skating is now just, literally, a thousand times riskier. I know I can not continue to push it as I've done for years, the cataplexy has seemed to progress to what is this awful point. Although, things can change, the time we live in is quite interesting and unpredictable? New doors open and there's always more than one side, option and possibility. One can not give up hope.

For myself, finding any medical answers seems entirely impossible here in Indiana except for on my own, years later, and only so far...
Neuro-Muscular-Vascular related; ain't no joke, too bad that healthcare is an entire joke too much of the time and for way too many.

I've lived here in Indiana forever and thankfully have traveled often and far.
These days not enough, but there are days ahead, time / now, goes on...
To pull a front-side invert would be incredible but I feel plenty accomplished and more than satisfied with what I've done.
What I've learned through the people I've known and/or met through skating and I must emphasis the deeply valuable amount of
things I've learned through, from skateboarding; it seems endless and hopefully will continue forever regardless of whether I can manage to skate any longer.
It is priceless and will always be for those who commit to it.
We're all on some path, to have missed out on skating part of that path, would be comparable to not having lived at all - at least for myself!